Sunday, August 26, 2012

I got punched in the face with Rock 'n' Roll, via "The Voice" ... and I liked it.

If there is one thing that Jan and I believe wholeheartedly in, it's the power of karaoke. Drunkenly singing in bars and at parties is what makes the world go 'round. In fact, I firmly believe that we'd live in a much more peaceful world if leaders would get together, have a few beers, pick up a microphone, and perform a rousing duet of "We Built This City" before they make any firm decisions.

Now, you'd think that we'd be more than enamored of all the karaoke-based singing competitions that are on television, right? Well, my logical friend, you'd be dead wrong. Oh sure, we have our fun with American Idol ... but the entertainment value of it depends entirely of the train wreck factor it presents (Mariah, we're looking at you to carry that torch, and hopefully burn the motherf*cker down with it. Yeah!). So, color me shocked as hell that through the awesome power of OnDemand television, I got addicted to back episodes of The Voice, season two in particular.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Yeah, I'll just go ahead and start a rap career ...

There are certain things that almost everybody thinks they can do well - fighting, screwing, reading the news, etc. Unfortunately, because this is resoundingly untrue, a lot of people end up getting their asses kicked to kingdom come, spending Saturday nights alone by the phone, and saying things like, "Keep f*cking that chicken," on camera.

Another addition to that list ... rapping. EVERYBODY thinks they can rap, and sure, most people can in the technical sense ... but less than half a percent of the general population can do it in a manner that's worth a damn, and I'm including most of the people who are currently signed to the Young Money label.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Natalie Portman chose a fug wedding dress - Plus, five celebrity ladies who got it right

On August 4 - a day that I hold in low esteem for personal reasons having nothing to do with the subject at hand, so I don't know why I mentioned it - Natalie Portman, award-winning actress/fashionista/bad-ass rapper, married her Black Swan choreographer/baby daddy Benjamin Millepied. The wedding was kind of a big deal, as Natalie is a huge star and the wedding was unorthodox in the sense that it combined elements of Natalie's Jewish faith, her husband's French heritage and her choice to follow a vegan diet. To this I say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah ... let's see the dress!"

And, man, was I disappointed.

Friday, August 3, 2012

The Olympics would be better without Hope Solo ... and her asshat comments

Recently, a poll stated that approximately 42 percent of Americans "couldn't care less about the Olympics." This stat is sorely disappointing to me, because I sure do love me some Olympics. It's the one magical time every four years when I sit down in front of the television to watch sports for five hours at a time. Seriously, I LOVE watching the Olympics, and of course, Team U.S.A. is where it's at. I'm even willing to overlook the general douchebaggery of LeBron James to root for him when he's representing the good ol' U.S. and A. And, we all know how Jan and I feel about LeBron James.