Natalie Portman chose a fug wedding dress - Plus, five celebrity ladies who got it right

On August 4 - a day that I hold in low esteem for personal reasons having nothing to do with the subject at hand, so I don't know why I mentioned it - Natalie Portman, award-winning actress/fashionista/bad-ass rapper, married her Black Swan choreographer/baby daddy Benjamin Millepied. The wedding was kind of a big deal, as Natalie is a huge star and the wedding was unorthodox in the sense that it combined elements of Natalie's Jewish faith, her husband's French heritage and her choice to follow a vegan diet. To this I say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah ... let's see the dress!"

And, man, was I disappointed.

Academy Award Looks to Love: Jan's Picks

I found picking Academy Award Looks To Love  to be challenging. There are so many different dresses from different times. However, I finally narrowed it down to a few that I really liked over the years ...

Academy Awards Looks to Love - Meredith's Picks

Here at Somebody Thinks You're Fat, and Everybody Hates You, we like to stick it to celebrities because most of them are overpaid and under-intelligent, so eff them. However, we're not without our flights of fancy ... particularly when it comes to fancy dresses. Yes ma'am, we do love us some fancy dresses. So, in honor of red carpet season, and the upcoming Academy Awards, we have awards of our own to give: The Top Ten Looks to Love from each of us. I don't think I need to explain what a tremendous honor this is. So, without further ado, the winners are ...

(Note: These looks are post-millenium, meaning they date back only as far as 2000 and are being picked by me, Meredith, only. Jan has picks, too, so look for those later!)

Tim Tebow is an Underwear Model ... And Also a Never-Nude?

You may have heard that Tim Tebow has a new underwear ad out, but if you're one of those easily scandalized, pearl-clutching types, don't get your panties in a twist. The family-friendly quarterback appears in the ad shirtless in a field of horses (for the ladies?) ... but wearing jeans. That's right, Jockey has hired a model who displays only five percent of the product that they are posing for. Wow, I would love to have a job where a bare minimum show of effort is not only acceptable, but lauded. And, I do apologize for that horrible pun I just did ... 

Now, I can be objective enough to note that there are many ladies out there who find Tebow attractive, but really, when I saw this ad, this is the picture that came to mind:

Blog of Note: The Jared Leto Hair Club.. for men ..and women

At Somebody Thinks You're Fat, and Everybody Hates You, we are MORE than aware that our readers LOVE Jared Leto. I happened to stumble upon this Tumblr page called The Jared Leto Hair Club. Like many of the other random sites I find online these days, I could not figure out how to contact the creator. All I know is that this site is one of the first pages to pop up when I search the name "Jared Leto." ( I was just seeing where we stand, I swear ...)

Big Rich Texas: More Like Big Rich WTF IS THIS?

Big Rich Texas is a reality television show on the Style Network that premiered on July 17, 2011. The show is filmed in the Dallas/Fort Worth area of Texas. The show follows five wealthy Texas women and their daughters during a summer at an exclusive country club and documents all the drama that brews between southern belles.

Michelle Williams Broke Into My Grandma's House and Stole Her Curtains ...

.

Michelle Williams at the 2012 Golden Globe Awards

I Heard the Owl Call My Name ... from Nicole Kidman's Dress

We've now hit that special time of the year when Hollywood gathers together in a (seemingly) never-ending series of self-worship orgies, otherwise known as awards shows. Honestly, I really don't give a rat's ass about the majority of the awards. The thing I love about the obnoxiously large volume of awards ceremonies is the corresponding volume of couture gowns on display ... and the avalanche of catty comments that go with the display of said couture gowns.
Oh, believe me, it's not all bad. At last night's Golden Globes, Reese Witherspoon was a knockout in her sexy "Jessica Rabbit" number. Charlize Theron once again proved that she looks great in just about anything, and Angelina Jolie left her funeral gear at home and wore something that was actually pretty fabulous. See them all, plus more, here. 
But, that's enough of the nice stuff. Can we talk about Nicole Kidman and her fancy totem pole of a gown, please? 

Jared Leto's Transformation, or the Long Road Which Leads to the Mullet

This is one of Jared Leto's modeling photos from his high school days. What a demure lady he was.

Since the reaction to our last post about Jared Leto received such excellent feedback, I thought I would continue to entertain Meredith's idea by doing a post based on Jared Leto's physical transformation throughout the years. However, keeping with the fashion of my "bipolar" writing technique, I could not help but recognize someone else's face in the slew of Jared Leto's earlier photos. That person is Amanda Peet.

Jared Leto to the World: I'm Sexy and I Know It

We headed to the bar, baby. Don't be nervous. No shirt, no shoes, and I still get service.

Jared Leto is a fascinating fellow in the sense that he wants nothing to do with anything that makes him special. He is a talented actor, but he instead chooses to spend the majority of his time fronting a rock band that produces fair-to-middling work at best. Even more baffling than this is the fact that he was born to be a standard for male hotness, but he wants no part of it. Rather than embrace his natural handsomeness, Jared does everything in his power to look as terrible/scary as possible.
Did he not receive the memo about how being insanely good-looking gives you every possible advantage in life?

Christina Aguilera, please fire your stylist.

Christina Aguilera appeared on the American Music Awards over the weekend looking like this abomination:




"I've got a secret for you!"
The dress, the hair, the make-up, seriously?

Blog of Note: Some Ugly Baby.com

While searching the Internet, I stumbled upon this little gift to humanity! Some Ugly Baby

Blake Lively thinks geriatric hookers are cool

I am not a fan of Blake Lively.