Monday, July 30, 2012

Terrific Scenes From Terrible Movies: "The Proposal" in The Village

So I don't know what I like most about this scene. It's either Joaquin Phoenix's facial expression, or the stupid chick's dialogue. All I know is that I laughed my @ss off earlier when I saw this movie on TV today.

Note: Terrific scene(s) starts at 1:35 and ends at about 4:00 

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Paul McDonald Hates His Fans ...

Meredith and I were, and still are, HUGE fans of Paul McDonald. That smile, those moves ... How can you resist his charm? Unfortunately for Paul, his success seemed to be short-lived. Honestly, who listens to his music anyway? Well, this brings to my point ... That point being that Paul McDonald hates his fans ...


Let me explain. Once upon a time, Meredith and I worked at a wondrous place where we often shared photos and videos of our beloved Paul McDonald. Then, one day, while viewing his Web site, we came across an excellent "fan shirt" that was being sold. Credit cards in hand, we went about completing the necessary steps to purchase our very own shirts in honor of Paul. Sadly, we found that there were only size larges in stock. Being that neither Meredith or I are morbidly obese, you could imagine our disappointment.

This is the fabulous shirt! Please note that the shirt is an exact replica of the jacket Paul wore on American Idol (but not really).

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Wait, Kristen Stewart actually IS a dirty tramp?

Kristen Stewart is a waste of space. We at "Somebody Thinks You're Fat ..." have always been adamant about that. We've never hesitated to voice our dislike for her, and her "acting", and her face and her attitude. She was a serious contender for a spot on our "12 Hates of Christmas" list, and truth be told, she only missed the cut because there is one of her and an army of Kardashians, so there you go. 

We always knew she sucked as an actress. She's never really had charisma. I don't personally know anybody who thinks she's good-looking ... but I swear, all those times when I called her a dirty tramp, I was just throwing general insults out there. I had no idea it was actually true. 

Anyway, various sources are now reporting that Kristen cheated on longtime boyfriend Robert Pattinson with her married Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. And even though f%cktard tweens the world over immediately jumped to call conspiracy on it, oh hey, guess what?

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Mariah Carey is jumping on a sinking ship ... and I wish I weren't speaking metaphorically.

The similarities are evident ... except one photo was taken after a bottle and a half of Cuervo. 

Fortunately for all who enjoy good music, the time where success on American Idol meant insta-fame is long gone. She show has seen a steady decline in ratings over the years, paired with five consecutive wins for completely forgettable John Mayer clones. Basically, this show was bad to start, but has now become a bona fide disaster. It hit Chernobyl level with the departure of entertaining douche Simon Cowell, but there was still a just a bit of fun to be had with hot mess Steven Tyler and pain-in-the-ass diva Jennifer Lopez. Now, Tyler and Lopez have ditched, so the producers of Idol did the logical thing ... found somebody who is a hot mess AND a pain-in-the-ass diva.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mariah Carey is going to rock this shit.

I Am Not Dead read that correctly! I am in fact not dead... I have simply been in "newborn land" for the last two months.. I miss this blog very much! I look forward to posting consistently again! I appreciate all of the readers who have stuck by us. Meredith and I will be in blogging form soon!!

This is the most repeated question in my household...