The last season of American Idol was evil for many reasons. 1) Howdy Doody look-alike Scotty McAnnoying took home the crown (and consistently molested the audience with his eyebrows). 2) We got to see that Gwen Stefani's fabulous fashion choices don't always work ... especially when the models are not Gwen Stefani. 3) Idol provided a platform for intolerable beeyotch Jennifer Lopez to storm back from near oblivion, which might be the most unforgivable thing the show has ever been responsible for. Gawd, we'll never get rid of her now ...
There's a fairly obvious comment to be made here, but I won't do it. I'm a lady, after all.
But, I digress. I can't hate too much on the last season of AI, because it gave us a truly beautiful gift. You see, every once in a while, an entertainer comes along who walks the fine like between genius and bat-sh!t crazy so audaciously that you just have to give up the bomb sh!t props. We were blessed with such an entertainer in the form of the one, the only Mr. Paul McDonald.
Oh, there were other contenders (Remember Casey Abrams? Wow, that guy was nutty.), but after I saw Paul sing "Maggie May," I became a believer.
You got something to say to me, Paul? I'm listening.
Seriously, what's not to love about this? The gravely voice, the crazy hair, the spastic-yet-charming dance moves, the INSANELY white teeth, the passing resemblance to Bradley Cooper ... it all just worked.
And, it worked for the folks who write the (incredibly awesome) Vote For the Worst blog as well. Paul was their longest-running pick last season, and even though he didn't take it all the way, he managed to remain on the show longer than the mega-pimped, yet boring-as-hell, balladeer, Pia Toscano. Victory, victory, let's repeat it!
Week after week, Paul delivered amazing performances in strangely stylish suits (sometimes with rose embroidery), crazy-dancing his way straight into our hearts here at Somebody Thinks You're Fat ... So, despite the fact that he never answered our Facebook post, despite the fact that he married an actress from the Twilight movies, and despite the fact that he is willing to be photographed drinking a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon, we still think that Paul McDonald is unequivocally awesome.
Paul likes beverages that are typically consumed by both hipsters and members of the white trash community.
So, here's to you, Paul McDonald. No matter how questionable your rise to fame, no matter how your music career may stall, there's always a special place for you right here at this blog. And, there are also 115 special places for you where Jan and I used to work. Before we quit, we printed out 115 pictures of you and hid them all over the building. No joke. At Thanksgiving, I was told that after four months, our old coworkers are still finding them everywhere. Victory, victory, let's repeat it!
So, that about wraps it up here. I guess I should take a pregnancy test soon. That earlier mention of McCreery's eyebrows made me feel all sorts of violated.
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