Thursday, December 15, 2011

Jennifer Aniston is the "Hottest Woman of All Time," I Respectfully Disagree..

It is pretty obvious to everyone that Jennifer Aniston is a stunning beauty. I'm not going to deny that. However, Men's Health Magazine labeling her "The Hottest Woman of All Time," is a gross over-statement.  I have decided that everyone who works at Men's Health Magazine is gay. Unless I am proven wrong, I will stand by my assumption. Why do I think they are all gay?

Let me explain:

The Top 10

10. Angelina Jolie
09. Jane Fona
08. Pamela Anderson
07. Bettie Page
06. Ursula Andress
05. Madonna
04. Britney Spears
03. Marilyn Monroe
02. Raquel Welch
01. Jennifer Aniston
View The Complete List

Although, I do agree with a few women on this list, there seems to be a couple of problems. Mila Kunis was ranked #96 out of 100 being beaten by the likes of Dolly Parton, Julia Roberts, and Britney Spears. Do you know any straight man who would take Dolly Parton over Mila Kunis? Unless you have a perverted grandfather who does not know who Mila Kunis is, I will rightfully assume that  the answer is "no."

Mila, standing next to a "young" Dolly wins hands-down..

There also seems to be quite a few famous beauties missing from the list. What about most of the supermodels from the 90s? There's Linda Evangelista, Helena Christensen, Christy Turlington, and Eva Herzigova for examples. Do they not even get a honorable mention in all of this? I was also expecting to see Rachel Weisz somewhere close to the front of the pack.

I don't think I know a STRAIGHT man who does not think Rachel Weisz is beautiful..

Honestly, where the hell did they get off putting Britney Spears at #4? They might as well put Christina Aguilera up there with her. They were both beautiful, in their prime, and now they are both puffy, fat, and washed out today (hmm ... feel the anger ...).


She is #4, I'm not even kidding, I can't make this sh*t up...

In conclusion, after a lot of pondering and pacing, I have decided that there is no way in hell a gay man could have made this list. Why, you ask? Because no gay man has taste this bad! So, maybe I'm just out of touch, or maybe it's because I'm a straight woman.  I want to know, do guys really think this list is accurate?

For The Road:

What the f$ck, "Men's Health"....WTF!?!


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Meredith said...

I agree that Jennifer is hot, but not the hottest of all time. I think Men's Health picked her, because she is really into fitness.
Great post! Lots of awesome moments ... can't BELIEVE Julia f$cking Roberts ranked over our girl Mila!
Bud thinks Natasha Henstridge and Salma Hayak should be in the top 10.

Laura said...

I thought the same thing when I read that. Where is Sophia Loren on that top 10 list? Or Marilyn Monroe and Bridgitte Bardot? I'll take Natalie Portman, too.

Meredith said...

I love how Grace Kelly came in at #86. WTF?

Jan said...

I was just thinking the same thing. Grace Kelly should be in the top 10. If this is the list of the "hottest women of all time" They should have picked women who have classic beauty that never goes out of style.