I have a girl crush on Mila Kunis. A big one.

When perusing Jan's fantastic analysis of The Kutch and his ongoing battle with douchebaggery, the photo of him with his That 70s Show co-star Mila Kunis reminded me of something: I friggin' LOVE Mila Kunis.

Seriously, this chick is awesome. Why? Well, kitten, I thought you'd never ask.

Let's begin, shall we?

Mila moved to the U.S. with her family from the Ukrainian SSR when she was seven years old. She started acting at age nine, and as a child actress, she booked several commercials, a part on Days of our Lives (which is my secret soap obsession ... oops, not anymore, I guess), and a minor role on 7th Heaven. She also played a young Gia Carangi in the Angelina Jolie vehicle Gia, but you probably don't remember that because Angelina's raw-in-every-sense-of-the-word performance traumatized you for life. Oh, that's just me? Okay, moving on.

"Dude, you can't talk to me like that. I'm only fourteen."

Like most teenagers, Mila scored big by lying about her age. But, instead of party supplies, she fibbed to snag the role of Jackie Burkhart on That 70s Show. Normally, I would blast this sort of thing, but since the producers found out and let her stay on anyway, this gets classified as an awesome move instead of a stupid one. A year later, she replaced the universally-annoying Lacey Chabert as the voice of Meg on Family Guy. In my opinion, Mila's work on both television shows was/is great ... and a good thing, too, because it took her a bit to build some movie momentum.

Not that Amercian Psycho 2 didn't sound like a great idea at the time, I'm sure ...

Mila was in "Get Over It" with Kirsten Dunst and Sisqo. I just can't decide which costar sucks more.

Her turning point in film was when she was cast in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as "the cool chick who just happens to be hotter than the title character." From there, she was able to parlay her new visibility into opportunities for bigger and better work, including projects like Max Payne opposite "Marky" Mark Walhberg, The Book of Eli with Denzel Washington, and Extract with director Mike Judge.

But still, the best was yet to come ...

The jump to over-the-top awesomeness:

• Mila was able to flex some real acting muscle when she was cast alongside Natalie Portman in Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan, a Best Picture-nominated film. She scored a couple of awards for her performance, but remained humble throughout awards season ... throwing support to her costars and director at every opportunity.
  Bill Murray, please see Mila for pointers on how to behave when you don't win awards.
• She won the hearts of all current (and future) 35-year-old virgins due to her publicized affinity for playing World of Warcraft, disproving Sheldon Cooper's assertion that it is impossible for a woman to be incredibly attractive and skilled at a video game.
• Mila really got it together as far as her look goes, and she became a staple of fashion magazines, sartorial blogs and bitchy watercooler gossip everywhere. She truly arrived as a fashion star at the 2011 SAG Awards when she rocked a red print Alexander McQueen dress. Fierce!
  
  
Mila needs to stop borrowing my clothes without asking.
• Even though she broke up with her longtime boyfriend Macauley Culkin in the early days of 2011, it's commendable that a young, hot actress could remain in a committed, drama-free relationship for more than eight years. Plus, while he's not the hottest poker in the fireplace, Culkin is an interesting fellow and a damn fine actor (see Saved and Party Monster if you doubt).
• And, finally, she was the original actress to receive and accept an invitation to the Marine Corps Ball. While other actresses such as Miley Cyrus and Scarlett Johansson declined their respective invites, Mila agreed to accompany Sgt. Scott Moore to the ball in Virginia, and made good on her promise last week. Funny ... Scarlett said no to a date with a hero but agreed to have sex with Benicio Del Toro in an elevator. Do you see why Mila is much better than her?
  
  

Who wants to bet that "Love in an Elevator" is Scarlett's favorite Aerosmith song?

In Conclusion:

1. Mila has been knocking TV roles/voice-overs out of the park for over a decade.
2. Mila paid her dues in Hollywood and is now considered A-list.
3. Mila is secure enough to admit her dorky indulgences.
4. Mila dresses on a level that's almost comparable to Jennifer Carpenter. (Almost)
5. Mila proved capable of maintaining a long-term relationship while most of her peers were baking large batches of slut brownies. *cough* Scarlett Johansson *cough*
6. Mila is the original benefactor of the Marine celebrity dream date.

Mila Kunis is awesome. Period.