Thursday, November 10, 2011

Walmart: Your One-Stop Shop For Groceries and Pelvic Exams.




Viewing: Typical Walmart shopper in it's natural habitat.
"I've got your Super Center right here!"


I just read an article, on The Huffington Post's website, concerning Walmart and their plans to add family healthcare to their stores. They are looking to compete with CVS and Walgreens, who offer medical services in-house. This is especially appalling, given that Walmart just announced plans to cut their part-time employees' healthcare benefits. View the entire article: Walmart's Extended Plan at World Domination

Why am I bothered by this? I sometimes shop at Walmart. I'm not going to lie about my guilty pleasure (love/hate relationship). If you say that you don't shop at Walmart, you are lying! I even had my most recent eye exam done at Walmart, and I think they did a spectacular job (I can see!).

However, I find it disturbing that one person can go to Walmart, buy a wardrobe, buy groceries, cash a check, get their hair cut, get their nails done, get their oil changed, get lunch, get an eye exam, and - eventually - get a physical.


"Get Your Syphilis Test Here!"


What am I afraid of? I fear that in the year 2096, the American flag will be emblazoned with the Walmart Logo. Will this company's power ever end? My biggest fear is that every person will end up looking like the People Of Walmart. As we all know, there already is an overpopulation of these humanoids.

The flipside? Some say Walmart will provide healthcare to people who could not afford it before. I understand this view. I get it. I just think it's sad that healthcare in America has become so sh$tty, that we are resorting to waiting for Walmart to save us.

Politics, Politics, Politics. I know one thing about healthcare: Government healthcare is horrible. I would know, I have it.

If you are interested in doing the United States a huge service, by Hunting People of Walmart, then please view the regulations below:

General People of Walmart Hunting Season Dates 2011:

Archery: Sept. 15 - Dec. 15, 2011 (Note: September 15-30, archers may only take legally inappropriately dressed females statewide; archery season closes on Dec. 8)

Muzzleloader: Oct. 29 - Nov. 8, 2011 Statewide

Firearms: Nov. 9 - Dec. 4, 2011 (closes November 27)

Youth People of Walmart Weekend: Oct. 22 - 23, 2011

Happy Hunting! (You didn't get these regulations from me)


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2 comments:

Meredith said...

Why did you post my picture on this story, Jan? I thought we agreed that we weren't going to post any personal photos on the blog. Traitor! ;)

Jan said...

Bah ha ha!