Saturday, November 5, 2011

Hawaii Five-O's Steve McGarrett, is MY HERO!

Steve McGarrett is played by Alex O'Loughlin on the hit reboot of the hit show Hawaii Five-O. Steve is the leader of the namesake squad, a Hawaiian State Police unit that is empowered to act on all seven Hawaiian islands. Suffice it to say, Steve is awesome.

Steve's hard at work, ruining someone's vacation.
"‘Book ‘em, Danno.’

Why is Steve my hero?

1. Steve is a ninja! No matter the circumstances, Steve always has the skills to get the job done. Whether it be setting traps in the forest, climbing a mountain, setting a broken arm, or skinning an armadillo, you can bet Steve knows how to do it.
2. Steve has a magic bag! This bag seems to always have exactly what he needs inside. Even if disaster strikes when he's off-duty.
3. Steve has super-human strength! No door is a match for Steve McGarrett. He even has the ability to outrun and overpower any bad guy. He could even take down your mom.

"Guess the rest of us who don't have a seat on an aircraft carrier will just have to get out our snorkels."

Steve puts his "try" face on.

The drawbacks to Steve?

1. Steve can be annoying. Every single episode we are forced to listen to him bitch and complain about his parents' killers. For f*ck sake, cut the umbilical cord, Steve.
2. Alex O'Loughlin, Steve's very life force, starred in the "Back-Up Plan" with Jennifer Lopez. That, my friends, is almost unforgivable. But not as unforgivable as actually dating her (finger pointing at you, Ben Affleck).

Worst move of Alex's life ... including that time he hit on your mom

3. Steve and Danny love Windows phones. The product placement in this show is just about as subtle as the product placement in a Lady GaGa music video. The boys also have a fondness for the search engine Bing.

And, in conclusion, one cannot mention the new Hawaii Five-O, without giving an Honorable Mention to the elephant in the room. No, we're not looking at Steve for this one. The 7th wonder of the world ... defying gravity ... it's ... Danny's hair!

It's so angry!

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