What in the hell happened to Orlando Bloom?

I'd like to begin today by taking a stroll down memory lane ... all the way back to a magical time known as Christmas 2001. It was a time when a much-hyped movie based on an exceedingly popular fantasy book trilogy was hitting theaters. It was a time when my literature-loving family insisted I accompany them to the theater in the name of togetherness. And, as you may have guessed, it was a time when I wasn't getting any play whatsoever in the dating department. The movie was Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings.