Thursday, January 19, 2012

Mark Wahlberg Is a Total Badass ... or Is That Total Jackass?

It pains me to say bad things about Mark Wahlberg because, 1) He is hot. 2) I enjoy his acting, most notably in The Departed. And 3) He is hot. However, I think most everyone who has an Internet connection will agree with me when I say that I was absolutely floored when I read what he had to say about 9/11 to Men's Journal ... and not floored in the way that I am when he removes his shirt. We're talking about the bad kind of surprise here. 

Basically, Mark said that, unlike everyone else who was aboard the doomed planes, he is a man of action ... and you know it, bitch! If he were there, he would have kicked some major terrorist ass, Air Force One-style. Then, he would have ripped off his blood-stained shirt, blown a kiss to the pretty ladies on board, thrown back a bourbon and said, "It's quite alright, everyone. I'm gonna land this motherf$cker, now, because I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy." 

Okay, maybe I exaggerated just a bit, but here's what he actually said:

"If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'Okay, we're going to land somewhere safely, don't worry." 

Mark, this was such an insensitive thing to say. Surely you can't be serious! Oh, but he WAS serious ... and don't call him Shirley. 

Mark needs to show these pussies how an air disaster is REALLY handled. 

But, rather than stand by his statement and kick the ass of everybody who thought the quoted bit above was a jackass thing to say, he relented. Mark apologized (well ... sort of) and admitted that he'd been irresponsible by playing it fast and loose with comments related to 9/11. After all, apologizing is probably a lot easier than handing out thousands upon thousands of righteous beatings to the general public, even for an action hero like Mark. 

"To suggest I would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible. I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive. It was certainly not my intention." 

I dunno Mark, I think a real badass like Bruce Lee would have gone for the ass kickings ... but then again, Bruce would never have made such boneheaded comments to begin with. (By the way, did you know that in addition to being the greatest martial artist of all-time, Bruce Lee was once a Cha-Cha-Cha champion over in Asia. Now, that is hot!) However, Mark is very similar to Bruce in the sense that they are both very flexible. After all, Mark must be a borderline contortionist to be able to fit both of his feet in his mouth like that. (Also hot!)

"Instead of dedicating your life to actualize a concept of what you should be like, actualize YOURSELF." - Bruce Lee ... not speaking directly to Mark Wahlberg, but he could be.  

So, in conclusion, Mark needs to watch his mouth, and maybe catch up on a little bit of South Park. If he did, he would know that a horrible tragedy doesn't become game for jokes or flippant comments until 22.3 years have passed. Bad form, Mark. In the future, just be quiet and take your shirt off for the nice ladies in the audience, okay? 

And, by the way, Mark doesn't weigh 220, Torrigan! You still owe 20 bucks on that bet, for real. :)

Well, he may be a jackass ... but did I mention that he is hot? 

Sources: Men's Journal, Entertainment Weekly

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Jan said...

I don't know, I think anyone would say that they would raise hell if they were on any of thoughs planes. However, some people are still sore about what he said. He probably should have kept that comment to his close friends.. It's just a matter of him being "politically correct." That's what I think at least... I don't think any less of him.... It's easy to say what you would have done with the help of hindsight....

Meredith said...

I don't necessarily think less of him, but I do think he needs to make smarter choices when addressing hot-button issues. That was an incredibly stupid and presumptuous thing to say, and he has been doing interviews long enough that he should know better.
People make mistakes, and he knows he effed up. Now, we can all laugh about it. :)

Jan said...

He is smok'n by the way!

Anonymous said...

I really like him in film, but maybe he should just avoid interviews. Foot in mouth indeed!